Today's the Day

Good morning.  I'm awake but I might not live until my 8:30 surgery because I'm not allowed to have my morning coffee.  I was a nervous ball of energy last night.  I stayed up until 2:00am, and then had to wake up this morning at 6:15 to take my first doses of Lyrica (for nerve pain) and Zofran (for nausea).  I don't mind being tired right now, because I'm pretty sure I'm going to sleep all day for the first couple of days.  I get hangovers from Benedryl these days, so I can only imagine what all these meds are going to do to me.

Last night I was running around trying to do laundry and dishes so I won't have to deal with it during my recovery, and that's when Phillip had to talk me down from my ledge.  He said if I didn't want to go through with it, I don't have to, $900 be damned, but he reminded me that this is something I've wanted for a long time.  He also helped me to realize that the chances are slim to none that I'll like my nose less after surgery than I do now.  Basically he said exactly the right things, and somehow this morning I am not nervous.  Maybe I got it all worked out in my head last night, or maybe I'm just too tired to care or something, but I kind of feel like today is just a regular day and it's just a dentist appointment in an hour and a half, not a surgery with a long and painful recovery that is going to change the face I've had for 27 years.

I'm about to go shower with my microorganism-killing scrubby thing.  I had to wash my face with the first one last night, and I felt like my flesh was being seared off, so this should feel great all over my body at 7 am.  Wish me luck today and please keep me in your prayers!